364 unbirthdays...
Ashley Healy
As the Mad Hatter states, "Statistics prove that you've ONE birthday." And today happens to be mine.
35 years. When did that happen?
I'm grateful. And thankful. And blessed. And reflective.
I honestly don't remember some birthdays. And then there are others that I'll never forget - all my family and friends at Radegast Beer Hall. Alice in Wonderland. Cupcakes in the hallway of Day Hall at Syracuse. Dinosaur mini-golf with childhood friends. But most of all, I remember waking up to cake for breakfast each year, a perfectly wrapped present, and all the hugs a daughter could ever receive in one hour before catching the bus from a mom who couldn't love me more. I miss that.
I woke up like any other normal day. Dan was traveling. I went to work. Had my 3-month review. And had an absolutely lovely dinner that Dan planned at Sauce with Julie, Jess Lasalle and surprise guest, Amy Dickson! But birthdays are hard for me. And as the years pass, I think more and more about Mom instead of myself. This is her day. Their day. This was the day SHE waited for for years. And I'm sure he did too.
And 35 was looming for me...I've now lived as long without him as I did with him. And that....well that's just too much to comprehend. Seriously, where have 17 years gone. How I wish I could talk to him. Play out business scenarios. Go to a Sox game. Introduce him to Dan. And so much more. So. Much. More.
BREATHE
"Now blow the candle out my dear, and make your wish come true..."
My wish, my prayer.
...I'll let you know when it comes true...